Little staying positive as road to recovery continues

WINNIPEG - Bryan Little remembers the moment like it happened yesterday, even though it was over nine months ago.

"I just remember passing it back to the point. I don't know why, but I drifted behind the net maybe just trying to lose my guy. I lost sight of the puck and I was coming around the net and I felt it right away," said Little, speaking from his home in Cambridge, Ontario.

"I didn't know how bad it was until I got back to the dressing room. I went to stand up, felt dizzy and nauseous right away. I knew it wasn't good. The whole left side of my head was pretty numb and throbbing and in pain."

Since that night - November 5, 2019, to be exact - the 32-year-old NHL veteran has been doing everything he possibly can to get back to full health.

That road hasn't always been a straight line, and as Little said on Tuesday, there are still some miles to go on that road to recovery.

"That's been the hardest thing throughout this whole process. I feel good, I feel fine. The recovery, there's not much I can do except time," he said. "You just have to wait it out and see how you're going to react. I feel good, it's just a matter of waiting to see how it goes."

Little has seen numerous doctors, neurologists, concussion experts, and even vestibular therapists over the course of his recovery. His wife, Brittany, had to drive him to each and every appointment in the first month as Little wasn't able to drive.

He recalls the early days, sitting in the hospital, fearing the worst.

"For the first while it was just doing tests and seeing how it was looking and progressing," he said. "The biggest thing was making sure nothing was getting worse. Every time I was going into one of these I was hoping everything would look better. Obviously that wasn't the case. It wasn't getting better and it wasn't getting worse."

In the middle of all this, Little started skating again. In January - a little more than three months after the injury - he was on the ice with his teammates in a non-contact jersey.

At first, he was a casual participant in practice. As the days went on, he became more and more involved. It felt like he was getting closer.

"I had one more kind of test or appointment before I got cleared for contact," Little recalled. "That was when I decided to go down to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota and see another specialist there. That's when that testing led to some recommendations of not to play right now, and come back later for more testing at a later date.

"To go from thinking you're almost back in the line-up to being shut down for the rest of the year was tough."

The decision was made in mid-February for Little to have surgery to repair the perforated ear drum. The three-month recovery meant the end of his season, and while the surgery did its job, the first few weeks weren't easy.

"They told me I couldn't even lift up my daughter for six weeks. That period of time was definitely tough. I felt pretty useless," Little said. "There have been a lot of tough times and definitely a lot of times when there has been a little bit of hope. The most important part of the whole thing was trying to stay positive and trying to look at the bright side of things."

Being a husband and a dad has been part of that bright side. Little and his family stayed in Winnipeg for quite a while after the pause in the NHL season, partly due to the fact Little couldn't fly during his recovery.

Instead, the family rented an RV for the long drive to Cambridge.

"I think the RV was way too big for my comfort," Little grinned. "It went smoothly with a two-year-old in the back and a couple dogs, but it was windy up north and those things blow all over the road. I'd definitely get a smaller one next time or something I'm more comfortable with."

He's kept his family at the forefront of his mind throughout his recovery. As much as he wants to continue being an elite athlete, he also wants to be there for his family when his time in the NHL is done.

That's why he's listening to the advice of every doctor and specialist he meets with.

"I'm not going to say 'screw this, I'm going to go out and try to play through this,' or take a big risk," said Little. "The biggest thing I'm thinking about through this is having a healthy and long life, being cognitively all there when this is over. Until I'm told there isn't a huge risk in coming back and things like that, it's just waiting and hopefully a good amount of time will change things."

He called the 2019-20 season the toughest of his career. Scoring the overtime winner in the 2019 Tim Hortons NHL Heritage Classic in late October seems like a lifetime ago, but is still a big highlight in a difficult year for Little.

The season started with a concussion in the final preseason game against the Minnesota Wild. He returned to the line-up on October 20 against Edmonton and had five points in the seven games he played, including a four-game point streak.

There is still something he kicks himself over when he thinks back to that night in November. It's an equipment change he plans to make if he has his way and gets back on the ice with his teammates.

"I know for sure I'll have the ear guards in," he said. "Where the puck hit me, it's crazy, it didn't even touch my helmet. It hit perfectly in that ear hole. I'd recommend everyone wear one after what happened to me. I know it was a freak accident but it could have saved a lot of trouble this year."

He doesn't like the word 'retirement.' Especially because if he's forced from the game due to injury, he's not leaving on his own terms.

Instead, he's keeping the door to a return open.

"Especially talking with my family, my wife, there are some things in the future that there are going to be some decisions made about what's next," he said. "That has been in the back of my head since it all happened, since the first doctor I talked to brought some things up."

The other thing that has been on his mind since it all happened is the piece of advice he'd give to any player in the league today.

"You never think it's going to happen to you. All of a sudden, one bad luck play or one misstep and it happens to you," he said. "If I could say one thing to a young player it's never take it for granted. When you're young you think you're going to be in the league for 20 years, you think you're going to be playing forever and always going to be healthy. Things can change in the blink of an eye and it did for me."

Here's hoping Little's patience and positivity is rewarded. After all, looking on the bright side has kept his spirits up over this long, winding road to recovery.

"It definitely helps coming home and seeing my daughter and spending time with her," Little said. "I'm not really training, but I'm working out and staying in shape. That keeps my mind off things and playing with my daughter, that keeps my spirits high."